doggy part 2

An update on the K-9 situation in camp.

We managed to obtain shampoo to bathe the dog. Upon starting the bath, we found that the dog was wounded around the neck as well as on the lower back. we can only speculate about the source of the injury, but the sores and cuts had started festering and breeding maggots. ouch.

so after the bath we sent someone to get antiseptic lotion to dress and treat the cuts. The dog seemed much more alive after the treatment - hope its working.

As to the naming contest - Eric II is NOT accepted. Anyway, people have alternated between calling it "Bobby" and "Ah Hock". I prefer "Ah Hock" myself.... =)

as for the durians, it's business as usual.

Doggy

So, it is durian season. While the opening sentence of this post may not have anything to do with the title, rest assured that everything has a reason. we will come to the doggy soon.

So, as i said earlier, it is durian season. Be patient. Good things come to those who wait.

So, again, it is durian season. Fortunately or unfortunately, in GB we have many durian trees. These durian trees produce durians. Durians ripen and fall to the ground. So, to save the ground from teeming with decomposing and decomposed durians, we have to do the world a favour and pick these durians up from the ground before they start to decompose. Such is the price of duty.

So what about the dog, you ask. Wait, I say.

Naturally, durian trees are not found all over the base. The health hazard is too high for any safety officer to condone it. The smallest possibility of having a durian fall on some high ranking officer's head is enough to forestall the aforesaid durian plantation. Then must write report. And eat chicken curry.

Therefore, durians are found deep inside the forest. As a result, the valiant slaves servicemen have to venture deep inside the forest in search of the thorny fruit, pick them up, and dispose of them properly (i.e. eat them).

"But you haven't said anything about a dog!" you cry. And you are partially right. I did mention the dog earlier in the post, but asides from that nothing concrete has been said about a dog. So, we now come sequentially (non sequiter) to the dog.

The dog.

Today, we found a dog tied to the fence near the durian trees. Evidently, it had been abandoned over the weekend. The poor animal was shivering with cold and weak with hunger. We gave it some food and water, and now we have a pet.

The end.

Well, not quite. The dog was quite old (it's a beagle, for those who care) and we could almost sense its sadness at being abandoned by its owner(s). I mean, who abandons a dog and ties it to a fence at the mercy of the elements? Bah.

The end.

Really.

I lie. Below are some pictures of the dog. Also, let's have a name the dog contest. The winner gets.... erm. i don't know. maybe the dog. or not.

Doggy!


Doggy!


Doggy!


Doggy!


The end.

Really.

This time i mean it.

A user's guide to journalistic cliches

Ever read something in the papers that's had you scratching your head and wondering just what the reporter was trying to say? Here's a cut-out-and-keep glossary of journalistic cliches. [from www.crikey.com.au]

Feisty: Short, old female
Flamboyant: Homosexual
Controversial: He did something bad but we're not sure what
Scandal-plagued: Guilty
Informed source: Reads the newspaper
Confirmed bachelor: see "Flamboyant"
War-torn: We can't find it on a map
Venerable: Should be dead but isn't (eg: Gough Whitlam)
Knowledgable observer: The reporter
Knowledgable observers: The reporter and the person at the next desk
Self-styled: Phony
Guru: see "Self-styled"
Screen Legend: Reporter is too young to remember his movies
Teen idol: Reporter is too old to have heard of him
According to published reports: We got scooped
Embattled: He should quit
Troubled youth: arsonist
Scrappy: a runt
Beloved: Someone who's been around so long no one can stand them any more (eg: Bert Newton)
Hero firefighter: He put out a fire
Hero cop: He got killed
Honor student: Dead kid registered for classes somewhere
Recently: We lost the press release
First in the modern history of ... : no entries in NewsLink
Never: Not in NewsLink or Google
Source who spoke on condition of anonymity: PR flack
Prestigious: has indoor plumbing
Exclusive neighborhood/school/club: the reporter can't get in
Mean streets: slums
Street-wise: Hasn't been hit by a bus so far
Allegedly: He did it but we can't prove it
Shocking revelation: leaked on a slow news day
Highly placed source: one who would talk
Supermodel: her picture was printed somewhere
Beautiful: a woman who's been savagely murdered
Blonde: see "beautiful"
Reportedly: we stole this bit of information
Intensely private: Not promoting anything right now
Rarely interviewed: Promoting something right now
Highbrow: boring
Family Values: right wing idiot
Progressive: left wing idiot
Couldn't be reached for comment: the reporter didn't call until after 5pm
Legendary: about to die
Unclear, uncertain, unknown at press time: no one will tell us
Plucky: someone who is very young, very old, or very short who is ambulatory
Brutally raped: raped
Savagely murdered: murdered
Celebrity: He has a publicist
Superstar: He has a publicist and an agent
Modest, well-kept home: at least the cockroaches are dead
Exclusive: We were the only ones who returned the PR flack's calls
Gentleman bandit: he wore shoes instead of sneakers
Police task force: cops who were working on no-publicity cases yesterday
Elite: see prestigious
Conflagration: what was a fire in the first paragraph, a blaze in the second and an inferno in the third
Outspoken: Rude man
Strident: Rude woman
Effervescent: She won't shut up
Shapely: face like the back of a bus
Full-figured: Tits out to here
Statuesque: Tits out even further
Diminutive: under 5 feet tall
Petite: emaciated
Sexy: better looking than reporter's mate
Dogged by character issue: He screwed a floozy
Political Action Committee contribution: bribe
Moderate: fence-straddler
Long-time companion: they had sex
Socialite: unemployed woman who lives in Toorak
Heiress: as above, but able to hire a pricey divorce lawyer
Good Samaritan: Too stupid to run away
Innocent bystander: Too slow to run away
Tearful: Could have been crying
Choked up: Definitely could have been crying
Weeping: Tear spotted in one eye
Entrepreneur: Hasn't made it yet, but we're doing a nice story about him
Mogul: Has made it, and we're doing a hatchet job
Mega-mogul: Has made it, and is in process of losing it
Activist: Will talk to press
Stunned: couldn't give a decent quote
Dapper: Hasn't bought new clothes in 20 years
Hot-button issue: only editors care about it
Towing industry expose: editor got a parking ticket
With news wire services: no original reporting whatsoever

a celebration of life

This space is dedicated to Yu Kang Fei, a person I knew only briefly, but still managed to touch my life, as he did many others.

I attended his wake last night, and was very touched to see many others who knew him, whether briefly, like me, or for long periods, like those who shared about the young man.

Kang Fei, your work is done, but ours has just started...

a celebration of all that (doesn't) work in the SAF

two incidents this week (loosely put, since it's been about 10 days since i last posted) stuck in my mind.

firstly. the story of the Dept Head's PA who couldn't think.

her: hello, is this the pass office?

me: yes, can i help you?

her: i'm xxx from yyy dept, and i've been told there are no stocks of the zzz form at the entrance counter.

me: ok, then you can come down to the pass office to get a copy of the form.

her: but it's raining now. can you send the form up to my office?

me: i'm sorry, but we don't do that. the forms are available at our counter, you can pick one up at your convenience.

her: but my boss needs the form urgently. why can't you send a copy up to my office?

me: we're not allowed to do that. if you need the form, you can obtain it from the counter at our office.

makes you wonder. are we performing national service or national slavery?

---

the second incident which is rather more humourous, depicts an OC in the camp next door. he (LTA X) wanted to close off the main avenue of approach to our camp from the hours of 0800-1100 so that his men could perform an exercise for preparation for their next assessment.

problem is, the people using the main avenue of approach to our compound include COLs A, B, C, etc; BGs D, E, F, etc, the service chiefs, CDF, a couple of perm secs and a couple of ministers. oh, and a whole company size of LTCs and rather more MAJs.

i don't think they'd be rather amused if we told them: sorry, ah, sir, but that lare-ter-nan say you cannot go into work today ah, be-cos ah, his troops want to march along this route. he say he already chope this place until 1100 hor, maybe you can go fly kite or canteen break until then lah.

if that happened, the next thing you know, LTA X would become PTE X and be living in DB.

use your blain use your blain use your blain!

bored am i

Your Star Wars Pickup Line

"Wanna play with my 12-inch wookie?"

What's Your Star Wars Pickup Line?

Your Amazing Yoda Sex Line

"When 900 years old you get, Viagra you need too, hmmmm?"

The Amazing Yoda Sex Line Generator

On another note, why does Yoda kick ass in SW2:AotC and get his ass kicked in SW3:RotS?

And why is the black bald guy able to almost kill palpatine when yoda can't even touch him? isn't yoda, like, supposed to be the most powderful jedi?

serious things to think about, these are.